


I Don't Dance

by xenolith1245



Series: xenolith1245's south park one shots [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dancing, Established Relationship, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenolith1245/pseuds/xenolith1245
Summary: Craig Tucker attends his first wedding.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Series: xenolith1245's south park one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956913
Comments: 16
Kudos: 172
Collections: /r/FanFiction Prompt Challenge #19 / June 2020





	I Don't Dance

“And that was when we both pledged PC!”

He sighed as he listened to the man behind the microphone drown out the room with a speech reminiscing about memories he had not been a part of. He laid his head on his hand, elbow on the table, as his fork moved his mashed potatoes back and forth.

“Hey bro, and I just want you to know…I love you man.” The speech continued. “And I mean that sincerely and not in any way to imply that it’s wrong to love another man, regardless of gender.”

PC Principal, sitting at the head table with Strong Woman, applauded.

_Ugh._ He pulled at the sleeves of his jacket. Why did they have to invite the whole town to their wedding? He hated dressing up, and he missed his hat. He started to run a hand through his hair when his mother slapped him. “Stop touching it!” His mother whispered.

He flipped her off, and she returned the gesture.

He returned to his mashed potatoes, glancing around the room. There were hundreds of people in attendance, all grouped together around circular tables, each table having a number placed in the center. He was sitting at table 5 with the rest of his family, and unfortunately, the Marsh family. He didn’t know why he was paired up with the Marsh family today, he sent a glare over to Stan just for good measure, which was returned with an eye roll.

His dad and Randy talked through most of the speech, with Randy trying to challenge his dad to some kind of drinking game or bet, he wasn’t listening. His mom and Sharon laughed at some kind of mom joke, and his sister and Shelley were surfing their phones, completely unnoticed.

The crystal glasses glimmered from the twinkling fairy lights that adorned the ceiling, and the colored uplights on the walls gave for a picturesque aesthetic for the entire evening.

It was the first wedding that Craig Tucker had ever attended.

And, he hoped, the last. He was all dressed up like some kind of fancy doll or something – suit, tie, shiny shoes, et cetera. He just wanted to wear his sweatshirt and his hat, but his mother insisted that he “look presentable”, as the entire town was invited to this event, and the Tucker tribe wasn’t going to look foolish.

He reached up for his hair again, and received another slap from his mother. Stan laughed from across the table, and Craig tried to glare a hole through his face.

The ceremony itself took absolutely forever, and Craig nearly fell asleep. As to not be insensitive, PC Principal and Strong Woman opted for vows that were inclusive of all religions, which elongated the ceremony. The PC Babies were also part of the wedding party, and at one point were upset that someone referred to a Best Man and a Maid of Honor, indicating this was insensitive to non-binary people, which prompted a lesson from PC Principal to the offender.

Craig’s eyes wandered the room again, taking note of Token and Clyde’s families at table 7, with Token and Clyde sitting next to each other, laughing at something on Clyde’s phone. Every now and then, Clyde would wave over at table 6, where Bebe was sitting. She would cross her arms over her chest, and turn away.

“Table 12.”

Craig turned back to his left. Stan Marsh had moved to the chair next to him. “What?”

“Table 12. That’s where they are.”

Craig followed the table numbers, landing on a table a few rows away, where the Tweaks were sitting. Along with the Testaburgers.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Stan asked.

Craig frowned, noticing Wendy and Tweek deep in conversation about _something_. He obviously couldn’t hear, but they both looked up, and Wendy waved. Tweek leaned over to Wendy, and whispered something in her ear, and then also waved at Craig.

Stan waved back. “Do you think they’re plotting something against us?” He leaned in closer to Craig and whispered loudly. “What do you think it is?”

“Shut the fuck up, dude.” Craig said. “What would they be plotting?”

“Cartman said weddings make girls act all weird.” Stan said.

“Tweek isn’t a girl.” Could he hit Stan and get away with it?

“Well, I mean, no..but…” Stan motioned to table 12. “They seem pretty buddy buddy.”

“You believe Cartman?”

His mother pinched his arm. “Shh!”

Craig pulled his arm back, rubbing it, while he flipped his mother off again. He turned to the front at the same time as Stan, and sunk down in his seat.

“It’s time for the newlyweds’ first dance!” The DJ's voice blared over the speakers. He pressed a few buttons, and as PC Principal and Strong Woman took the dance floor, a song from Hootie and the Blowfish started playing.

“Doesn’t this just take you back, Thomas?” His mother leaned over to his father, taking his hand in hers.

“Ew,” Tricia said, still tapping away on her phone. “Gross,”

Both Thomas and Laura Tucker flipped off their daughter. They stood up as the song changed, and the DJ invited everyone to the dance floor. Sharon and Randy Marsh left as well, and Stan face palmed at his dad's tipsy movements. "Fucking hell."

"Hi Stan."

Wendy Testaburger. Craig recognized that high pitched voice immediately.

"Hi Wendy." Stan waved.

"Stan let's go dance!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his seat. Stan gave a fleeting look back towards Craig, almost a cry for help, before he disappeared into the crowd.

Like he would ever help Stan Marsh.

"Hey dude."

Now this was a voice he recognized far more than Wendy's.

"Hey," Craig responded.

Tweek sat down in Stan's now unoccupied chair. "You think they would've sat us together, seeing as we are close alphabetically."

But Craig wasn't listening. He had seen Tweek from a distance and knew he was just as dressed up as he was, but now that he was much closer, he could _really_ see him. The green tie, the black suit. The white button up shirt that was properly buttoned. His hair, while still a bit unruly, seemed more combed and in place.

"Do you wanna dance, Craig?"

"I don't dance," he responded.

"That's cause he sucks at it." Tricia flipped him off before Craig could lift his hand.

Tweek turned to watch the dance floor, as Craig turned to watch Tweek. The blonde tapped his fingers against his knees to the beat of the music, and had a small smile on his face. Craig felt something in his chest tighten up, but he ignored it. Instead, he followed Tweek's stare to the dance floor.

This was clearly a group dance, as everyone was lined up and in sync with their steps. Well, almost everyone. Stan looked like he had two left feet, and Wendy was trying to get him to pay attention. Kenny, who surprisingly didn't look like a complete mess, was teaching Kyle the dance, and both boys were laughing. Butters was doing a completely different dance, and seemingly unaware of this fact. Stan's dad was drinking from a glass of red wine as he stumbled around the dance floor. The adults not participating were standing at the bar.

"Do you want something to drink?" Tweek asked.

"Oh, uh, sure. Whatever's good, babe." Craig said.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

Craig watched as Tweek walked towards the bar and disappeared into the crowd.

Only to have someone immediately take his seat.

"You being careful, Craig?"

"Go away."

Cartman, dressed in his Sunday best but barely fitting into his button up, leaned back in the chair. "I'm just trying to look out for you, bro. Give you a proper warning."

"I don't need your warning." Craig said.

"Craig...you gotta be careful at these things." Cartman ignored him. "Weddings always get to these girls-"

"Tweek's not a girl."

"Right... right..." Cartman continued, still ignoring Craig's icy glare. "See, these girls get all emotional and attached. They want commitment. They want to be _next_. You gotta watch yourself or you're gunna get stuck."

"Stuck with what?" Tweek returned with two sodas.

"Nothing.. nothing!" Cartman stood up making room for Tweek to sit down. "Just talking about how gay Kenny and Kyle are. Did you guys invite them to your little club?"

"Fuck off Cartman!" Tweek said.

Cartman looked taken aback, and he looked at Craig.

"You heard him. Fuck off." Craig said.

"Fine! It's too gay here for me anyway." Cartman said. "But don't say I didn't warn you, Craig."

Craig flipped him off.

Tweek took a drink of his soda. "Warn you about what?"

"Nothing. Ignore him, he's a piece of shit." Craig downed half of the soda.

A few more songs passed, and Craig noticed Tweek still calmly staring out at the dance floor. A few slow songs played, and couples gathered together and held each other close. Tweek's fingers tapped again against his knees, and he swayed gently with the music.

Did Cartman have a point? Craig shook his head.

"Alright everyone, listen up! It's time for the garter toss! All you single individuals of any gender and sexuality who feel comfortable participating come on out to the dance floor!"

Wendy came running up. "Come on guys!"

"Fuck no," Craig said.

Tweek glanced over at him, but said nothing as Wendy grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his chair, and pushed him to the dance floor.

Craig watched as Tweek stumbled a bit, but caught himself, turning back to look at Wendy and Craig before being pulled into the group by Stan, Kenny, and Kyle.

"What the fuck is this?" Craig crossed his arms against his chest.

"Do you really not know?" Wendy asked. When Craig returned a blank expression, she continued. "The bride is wearing something around her thigh called a garter, and the groom will take it off her and toss it into the crowd. It is said that the man...or person...who catches it will be the next one to get married."

"Oh," Craig said. "That's lame."

"It's romantic!" Wendy said. "I hope Stan catches it!"

So Cartman _was_ right. Craig glanced back at the dance floor right as PC Principal removed the garter and tossed it in the air. Kyle took a few steps back. Kenny jumped up on top of Butters to get a better chance, and Stan just held his hands up. Tweek ducked down, but not far enough as the garter landed on his head.

"Alright! We have a winner! Come on up here young person!" The DJ motioned at Tweek, who responded with an "Ack!"

"Awww." Wendy said. "Stan, you were supposed to get that!"

Stan shrugged as he came back to the table.

"Well I guess I'll just have to catch the bouquet and marry Tweek!" She huffed and walked towards the dance floor.

"Women," Stan said. "You're damn lucky, Craig."

Craig stood up, leaving Stan's perplexed expression behind.

The dance floor switched from all men to all women as they grouped up behind Strong Woman.

"That bouquet is mine!" Bebe said.

"I don't think so!" Wendy said.

"I will cut you, so help me." Red responded, bumping Wendy with her hips.

The bickering continued as Strong Woman tossed the bouquet over her shoulder. The girls shoved each other, and reached their hands up. Wendy smacked Bebe in the face and Red stepped on Wendy's dress. The bouquet began its descent and suddenly another hand reached up and snatched it right above Wendy's grasp.

"And another winner, congratulations! Come on up here!"

The girls all turned to glare at Craig Tucker, who was holding the bouquet in one hand, and promptly flipping off each of them with the other as he walked to the DJ booth.

"Alright we have our winners! What's your name?" The DJ held the mike in front of Tweek.

"Uh, Tweek, sir." Tweek said.

"And what are your preferred pronouns, Tweek?"

"Uh……"

"He goes by 'he' and so do I" Craig said, pulling the microphone away from Tweek.

"And what's your name?"

"Craig."

"Alright. Tweek and Craig. This next song is for you two. Everyone give it up for Tweek and Craig!"

The crowd began applauding as Craig and Tweek glanced at each other. Tweek's right eye twitched and Craig stared blankly. But as the music started, Craig looked back and forth a few times before taking a hold of Tweek's hand and walking him to the center of the dance floor.

"Craig -" Tweek started as Craig set Tweek's arms around his waist.

Craig put his arms around Tweek's shoulders, still holding the bouquet, and started swaying very gently with the music. "We're supposed to dance."

"But you don't dance."

Craig looked into Tweek's eyes, gazing at the reflection of the twinkling lights. Maybe it was the dim light, or maybe his soda was drugged, but Tweek's eyes were more beautiful than they ever had been.

"I couldn't let Wendy…" he started. That chest discomfort was back, and this time, he pulled Tweek in close to try and subdue it, resting his head on Tweek's shoulder. "We should do this someday."

Tweek blinked a few times. "Huh?"

"Maybe I don't want this to be the last wedding I attend." The tightening got worse, and he could feel his face heat up. What was he doing?

"Oh," Tweek said. " _Oh_."

The two of them swayed close together for the remainder of the song. Craig didn't want to let go, so he held Tweek tighter even as the crowd applauded once more and the DJ announced the next song. He didn't move as everyone else joined the dance floor around them. As they disappeared in the center of the crowd, Craig pulled back, staring into Tweek's blue eyes, before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him off the dance floor. Tweek made a noise of surprise, but did not resist.

Craig walked them out into the garden where the ceremony had taken place. The lights wrapping around the trees were shining through the leaves now that the sun was gone. He brought them to the running water fountain, and sat them together on the edge.

"Craig," Tweek said.

Craig held out the bouquet of flowers to Tweek. "Here."

Tweek smiled and took the bouquet, smelling it for a second before setting it down next to him. He reached out and took both of Craig's hands in his. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He gazed around at the garden.

Craig kept his eyes on Tweek, his whole body feeling warm. And at that moment, he realized, he wanted nothing more than to have Tweek as his, and to be Tweek's, forever. This sudden epiphany slapped him across the face, and felt like he was drowning in a cold bucket of water.

Tweek smiled at him.

"I...uh…" Damnit.

"Are you okay?" Tweek asked. "You're acting weird." He started pulling on his own tie, fiddling with the end of it.

Craig could feel his face flush, and he covered it with his hands. _What the fuck._ He had taken this too far - definitely shouldn't have danced. _Definitely_ shouldn’t have opened his mouth. He felt like he was going to burst at any minute, and he didn't know why.

"Are you…” Tweek eyed him with a sideways glance. “Damn, Cartman was right."

Wait a minute. "What the fuck did Cartman say to you?"

Tweek rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "Cartman said weddings make girls weird. Then he said you were like the girl, and I told him to shut the fuck up."

"What." Cartman said _he_ was the girl? "What the fuck."

"I mean…" Tweek leaned in closer. "You did catch the bouquet."

"Fuck you," Craig flipped him off and Tweek burst out laughing.

“And I guarantee you broke Wendy’s heart today,” Tweek continued, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. “She could not stop talking about how she wouldn’t let Bebe catch it. I think they had some kind of bet going.”

“Sorry I ruined her future with Stan Marsh.” Craig said. He was definitely not sorry.

"You know," Tweek said, looking down and picking at the leaves of the bouquet. "I wouldn't mind...doing this with you...some day."

And just like that, it hit him again. The night overall was too surreal for him, and he had already embarrassed himself enough as is. But the moment was right. Craig leaned forward and kissed Tweek square on the lips.

Tweek made a squeaking sound in surprise, but he didn't pull back, and instead wrapped his arms once again around Craig's waist. Craig returned the gesture by placing his arms around the other boy's shoulders and pulled him closer.

They had kissed a few times before. Craig remembered the first time when Tweek surprised him at the bus stop and he remembered not being able to think straight after that. And he remembered the time when they were playing Xbox, and the time they went to Stark's Pond.

And he would definitely remember this time.

Tweek pulled back first, and Craig nearly followed him for another kiss, but he managed to regain some control over himself. Instead, he just stared into Tweek’s eyes, taking note of the soft glow from the ambient lighting on his face, and again at the reflections in his eyes. Tweek put a hand on Craig’s cheek, smiling brightly.

This time, Tweek leaned in and kissed him. It was soft but absolutely perfect. Craig knew he wanted to do this forever.

When Tweek stood up and held his hand out, Craig took it immediately. "Come on, let's go dance some more."

"I don't dance." Craig said, standing up.

"Sure you don't," Tweek pulled him back towards the reception hall. "You better practice so you'll be ready."

Maybe weddings weren't all that bad. Craig smiled, just slightly, and squeezed Tweek's hand.

"I'll be ready."


End file.
